For me, it's always been money. I've spent (ha!) much of my life in a poverty mindset, making decisions based on money; not doing things because I 'couldn't afford' to, or buying something just because it was cheap. Although I'm rich compared to most of the world, I usually felt poor.
As I learned and grew, I realized how important it was to improve my relationship with money and abundance.
First I needed to know where those habits of thought came from. I looked to my family of origin; our stories about money and our ability to acquire it. My family's philosophy about money was that it's scarce and unreliable, but will make me happy. Growing up, I had learned to judge people based on their income and property; wealth = worth.
While it was a little painful, that look back at my family of origin was a great start. (It also answered several seemingly unrelated family issues!) Knowing what messages I internalized helps me understand what works for me now, and what doesn't.
When you're aware of what you actually believe (as opposed to old habits of thought) you can decide what to keep and what to change.
When you're aware of what you actually believe (as opposed to old habits of thought) you can decide what to keep and what to change.
I then looked at my current relationship with money:
What is true abundance?
- How many things have I bought (or dragged home from an alley) because they were cheap (or free)? Did I really like those things—did they add to my sense of luxury—or were they merely evidence of a poverty mindset?
- What did my life lack because of poverty thinking?
- Where had cheapness ended up costing more than abundance?
- Does my sense of abundance match my bank account?
What is true abundance?
I realised that true abundance is love, health, friends, family, freedom... and that my life is incredibly abundant. Money is a tool that can help us get things we want, but it's not the only method.
Does spending money make you feel wealthy or poor?
I began to ask What I would do if money weren’t the issue? That's an easy question to answer: I'd treat myself better by getting what I really wanted, not whatever's the cheapest. I'd do the work I love, not the job I think I'm supposed to want. I'd go places and do things that interest and fulfill me.
Signs of a poverty mindset:
Rich Decisions
I changed my attitude. These days I buy anything I want, but only if I really want it. Really really want it. I consider purchases and am honest about what makes me happy. And you know what? I actually spend less than before. It may seem counterintuitive, but it's like the difference between eating healthy nourishing food and junk food: the good stuff satisfies while junk just leaves us wanting more.
Does spending money make you feel wealthy or poor?
I began to ask What I would do if money weren’t the issue? That's an easy question to answer: I'd treat myself better by getting what I really wanted, not whatever's the cheapest. I'd do the work I love, not the job I think I'm supposed to want. I'd go places and do things that interest and fulfill me.
Signs of a poverty mindset:
- Buying things you don't really want because they're a 'bargain' or on sale.
- Denying yourself things or experiences because you 'can't afford' them, but spending money on coffee, gum, magazines, booze, cigarettes, junk food, or extra clothes.
- Having to buy something more than once because you got the cheapest and it wore out or broke.
- Shopping as a recreational activity (online or in-person).
Rich Decisions
I changed my attitude. These days I buy anything I want, but only if I really want it. Really really want it. I consider purchases and am honest about what makes me happy. And you know what? I actually spend less than before. It may seem counterintuitive, but it's like the difference between eating healthy nourishing food and junk food: the good stuff satisfies while junk just leaves us wanting more.
