Savouring the Path

I think it’s wise to savour walking the path, and focus less on getting places. 

There are a number of ways to go through life. One is to define a goal, locate it, and get there as quickly as possible. Another way is to define the kind of path you want to take—how you wish to spend your days, rather than where you’re trying to get to.

When you savour the path of your life rather than its achievements, you get to enjoy the scenery, explore and discover, and fully inhabit your life whether or not you achieve your goals. You still have goals, but your happiness is not dependent on you achieving them. It’s a win-win situation.

Photography as a Contemplative Practice

We’re all trying to figure out who we are, what we should do and be, and what kind of work to do. We take tests on Buzzfeed and Facebook, but here’s a perhaps more accurate way to describe who you are and understand what you want.

This method is effective—it will help you recognize your passions, interests, needs and values. This method is easy. In fact it’s something you probably already do every day.

And it’s simple—just take pictures of anything you like—people, places and things that you love or find beautiful, funny or visually engaging.

Don’t worry about technical stuff—just document that moment. The photos don’t have to be great, just recognizable enough to jog your memory.

While there’s nothing shameful or hidden about these photos, they’re private; not for sharing. They’re tools to help you see yourself; like a mirror, or diary.

Take photos of people, things and places that you like, then look at them occasionally.

• In chronological order, the photos will tell you where you’ve been, like the wake behind a boat.
• Ordered by location tells you about your happy places.
• Ordered by names of people tagged in your photos tells you about your tribe.

As you scan the imagery, you’ll see that certain subjects and colors catch your eye. You'll have visual feedback on how you like to spend your time, and of what interests you. The longer you continue this practice, the more you’ll see your life’s changes and progressions throughout the photos.

Being Great Together

I’m great, you’re great; let’s be great together.

I meet so many people who are greater than they think. Who are under-living their lives. Who live below what they deserve and what they can accomplish. Who are not choosing to be happy.

Do you live your life as happily as you can? You can live your life as if it were already perfect. As if you were already perfect, which by the way, you are. 

Years ago, a friend of mine left her husband after he assaulted her. Reality was suddenly vastly different from her previous upper middle class lifestyle. She was almost without income, living with her infant son in a tiny apartment. She could have bemoaned her fate, but instead took a different approach. Jewel invented and hosted Oyster Nights, which consisted of us gathering at her place, wearing our fanciest clothes, and feasting on smoked oysters and Triscuits while drinking the best wine we could afford. We certainly weren’t dining at the Ritz, but our sense of abundance made us feel rich. We experienced opulence those evenings, envisioning wealth, living as if our lives were already perfect and as if we deserved it all.

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Living well is mostly in the mind. Letting go of petty obsessions frees energy and makes space for positive thoughts.

Your life is probably happier than you think. It’s a choice you can make right now. Decide you want to focus on positive aspects of life such as gratitude, abundance, and love.

Forget all those stupid grudges and little distractions. Forget fear and worry–they're only negative fantasies about the future. 

Give up gossip and rumour. In fact, give up talking about anyone not directly in the conversation. (I was shocked by how much time that frees up.)

Whenever you notice yourself being negative in thought or  communication, simply steer yourself back to positivity.

You don’t have to punish or belittle yourself; just begin noticing.

You’ll find it difficult at first, and may be shocked by how negative you are. But success will come. The more you notice and turn around negativity, the more you’ll develop the habit of positivity and service.

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Spend a couple of moments each morning planning your interior day. What’s important today – this day that you’ll never get back? What do you want to spend your energy on? What mood do you choose to be in? What are your priorities today? Who are the most important people in your world today? What do you want them to know from your heart?

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When we focus on positivity, we also free ourselves up to excel. I noticed this in taekwondo–when I focussed on positive and successful thoughts, images and conversations about my skills, I performed much better than when I used to tell myself I was no good at it.

Once I became aware of this in myself, it became blindingly obvious in others. I see so many people disempowering themselves through disorganization, self-deprecation, or simple lack of trying.

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Once you realise how happy you are, and accept that it’s ok to be happy, and are brave enough admit to happiness, you’ll see how much power you have over your life. That you pretty much can do anything, so long as you keep your focus and thoughts positive.

You have more power than you’d ever imagine. Look at what you’ve done already.

Danger Signs

Imagine a road that runs beside a canyon. There is a steep cliff to your right. Signs at the side of the road warn of the perilous cliff, but you hate those signs because they remind you of the danger, and you feel scared. To make yourself feel better, obviously the answer is not to remove the signs, but instead modify your driving, and thank your fear for reminding you to drive carefully.

Grasping that Ring and Enjoying Every Sandwich

Reminders of mortality: a beloved and lovely aunt died, a close relative and a friend each received unsettling health news, and a friend's friend died in a traffic accident.

These events can be upsetting and most of us try to avoid them, but they are golden. We need to remember that we are not here on earth forever, that life is a ride on a ferris wheel; we see some lovely sights and enjoy the sensations, but eventually the ride stops. For some of us the ride stops much sooner than we expect. So enjoy the view.

Go for the gold. Grab the brass ring. Make life your big adventure. As Warren Zevon said, enjoy every sandwich.

Warren did an interview on The Late Show with David Letterman following Zevon's having been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Letterman asked Zevon if there was anything he understood now, facing his own mortality, that he didn't before. Zevon replied, "Just how much you're supposed to enjoy every sandwich." 

Warren's is a wonderful metaphor because a sandwich is a simple, but that’s what most of our life is, simple everyday experiences. If you can enjoy those–aware of the beauty of simplicity–you will have a full life.

Let today be the day you start being happy. Let today be the day you act out your higher self. Let today be the day you start living.

Using Our Lives to Teach Others

With spiritual growth and personal awareness come a responsibility to teach others. The best way to teach the peaceful path of joy and happiness is by modeling it. As we develop peaceful living skills, we help others by demonstrating a masterful approach.

I recently read an article saying that road modeling is very effective: that when we model courtesy and self-control while driving, other drivers adopt those positive behaviours. According to the author, speeding drivers tend to slow down when more people are doing the speed limit.

A true master is equally happy to talk about their weaknesses and mistakes. It's good to remember that there's always more to learn, and anyway, seemingly perfect people make everyone uncomfortable. However, we can demonstrate the possibilities of being mostly happy, humble and peaceful.

Modelling allows you to teach without lecturing. A dear friend of mine who seems addicted to stress asks why I'm "so lucky" to not also be stressed out and running in circles. I reply that I'm conscious, not lucky—that I make conscious choices to live this way. I tell her that my "luck" stems from exercise, healthy eating and deliberate under-scheduling. That I pay attention to what goes in my mind: I avoid violent headlines and tv shows, try to avoid gossip, and focus on positive thoughts and actions. That living peacefully and lovingly is a choice.

Modelling spiritual and mindful growth supports your own practice. When you think of yourself as an example, you become more aware of your words and actions. 

Be the speed-limit-observing, courteous driver. Be the warm spirit who lets someone ahead of you at the check-out. Be an affectionate greeting for someone you appreciate. Be the loving parent who adores your child merely because they exist. Be strong for someone in turmoil. Give love to those who seem to deserve none. 

Model your goals. You’ll be amazed at how your wisdom circles back to embrace you.