I used to make mental lists of all the traits I needed to work on so that I could become perfect and thus enlightened. But what I learned is that we are loved–we are love–no matter what we do, no matter how imperfect or righteous we are.
For starters, no one likes a perfect person. We assume they’re hiding something. And it’s hard to relate to the pious. Sure, we admire them but no one invites them to parties. I used to photograph weddings and receptions, and let me tell you, everyone relaxes when the priest leaves.
If there’s one thing universal in consciousness, it’s awareness of our faults. It feels human to have faults or weaknesses. We like to work to remove or perfect them. Which is good.
But reserving loving yourself for when you are perfect is not so good. In fact, it’s the love you give yourself that often weakens those faults. Feeling more loved can lessen their frequency or impact.
Love is an inside job. We can be surrounded by people who love us, but if we don’t love ourselves, we will hardly feel their love, and certainly won’t retain it. We’re like an uninsulated house; the moment the furnace turns off, it’s cold again. We all know someone like that–someone who needs constant reassurance and praise. If we love ourselves, we don’t need externally sourced love to make us feel loved. We can be in a place of darkness and pain yet still powered by an internal well of love.
You can continue to learn and grow while loving yourself in your imperfection. In fact, often our faults point out to us where we would most like to grow. If we are impatient with our family, for example, perhaps we wish to learn patience, or maybe it’s a pointer that we need more time alone. If we gossip, maybe that’s a sign that we give too much credence to the opinions of others and need to focus more on our own life.
Instead of berating ourselves for our imperfections, a loving approach is to thank them for what they teach us, and use them as signals to growth. And to realise that both the question and the answer are within.
Here’s to the perfection of life in all its glorious imperfection!
