To-do lists seem universal. We all make them, and we all love a completed one. They give us a sense of progress and achievement. They keep us on track and give the working day a sense of rhythm.
I noticed however, that when I added “write” to my daily to-do list, I stopped wanting to write. Writing became something I had to do.
I also realised that my to-do lists were full of crap I didn’t want to do. (Pay taxes, clean basement, do laundry) That’s why I had to put them on the list—otherwise I wouldn’t do them.
Because I hated doing those things, I would avoid them as long as possible, sometimes all day. Although I was practicing successful procrastination, I admonished myself for avoiding crap I didn’t want to do. So I decided to explore what would happen if I didn’t vacuum the house, pay the taxes or do the laundry.
I also realised that my to-do lists were full of crap I didn’t want to do. (Pay taxes, clean basement, do laundry) That’s why I had to put them on the list—otherwise I wouldn’t do them.
Because I hated doing those things, I would avoid them as long as possible, sometimes all day. Although I was practicing successful procrastination, I admonished myself for avoiding crap I didn’t want to do. So I decided to explore what would happen if I didn’t vacuum the house, pay the taxes or do the laundry.
I had some happy results:
- Despite my mom’s prediction, the house still stands, and when I did get around to vacuuming it was much more satisfying.
- My accountant scolded me. I got my tax refund in December; just in time for holiday shopping.
- The laundry issue surprised me: my kids wore different clothes because their favourites were in the hamper. (The same children who can configure a Wii and fix my phone apparently can’t figure out how to turn on a washing machine.) They actually thanked me when their favourites reappeared. Hm.
This got me thinking. My old to-do lists were essentially days and days of minutia that I don’t want to do. What did I want to do? How did I want to live my life? Was there a way to make to-do lists positive, full of things we like and things we want to do?
Sure, we don’t often have to add “eat donuts” to a to-do list. (That’s more likely to show up on a don’t-do list.) But was there a way to still use to-do lists—they help my productivity and memory—but have them full of things that make me enthused and excited to start the day?
I began making lists that speak to my highest priorities. First I needed to know what my highest priorities are:
My life priorities are (in no particular order) writing, being a loving and supportive parent to my kids, earning sufficient income to support our family and even spoil them a bit, having joyful empowering relationships with friends and family, maintaining and improving my physical fitness, continued personal growth and spirit wisdom, eating well, and maintaining my physical health. There are others, but let’s work with these for our example.
My life priorities are (in no particular order) writing, being a loving and supportive parent to my kids, earning sufficient income to support our family and even spoil them a bit, having joyful empowering relationships with friends and family, maintaining and improving my physical fitness, continued personal growth and spirit wisdom, eating well, and maintaining my physical health. There are others, but let’s work with these for our example.
Each time I look at a list item that I will add to my day, I ask if it aligns with any of those priorities. Sadly “buy Doritos” does not, but “go for a walk in the sunshine” may well fit into a couple of them. I can see that “do laundry” does too, but in a less-direct way than “play monopoly with the kids.” Even “go to my stupid job that I hate” aligns with the earning sufficient income priority. (Although if I’m working at a job that I hate, I need to put some energy into “continued personal growth and wisdom.”)
So make your list joyfully. It may contain the same words, but as you align your list items with your life priorities, you will find that you undertake each task with love and a sense of accomplishment. By taking care of your highest priorities, you will live the life you desire.
