I was feeling a little blue yesterday. Nothing serious, but with the potential to degrade into worry. The great thing about worry is that there's always something to worry about, even if it's only the unknowable future. Fortunately, I know how to head off a bout of worrying: not by trying to talk myself out of it—it’s important to feel what is present—but by changing my mood chemically.
I’m talking about endorphins. I knew it was time for a mood-enhancer, so I went for a run. I decided to run to the library—a practical goal, as I had books to return and a hold to pick up.
I didn't remember placing the hold, but there it was, another library miracle—a book I needed to read, just at the right time. 29 Gifts tells the story of a woman's struggles with MS. (A little kick in the pants for me; I may have worries, but I am healthy and strong.) She tells about deciding to give gifts to others for 29 days as a way to eradicate her self-pity, and how doing so enhanced her physical health too. It's an inspirational story.
"In giving we receive." St Francis of Assisi
I was so inspired that I now practice conscious daily giving. It’s so much fun—each morning I think about who I can give to, and visualize situations that allow me to give.
Gifts don’t need to be grandiose; in fact it’s almost better if they are humble. Here are a few simple ways to give:
- My local grocery store has coupons at the checkout that you can tear off and place with your items. Each coupon adds $2 to your purchase, which is donated to the food bank. If I can afford even one non-essential like gum or coffee, I can afford two bucks so someone can eat.
- I told some friends how much they inspire me; their story has been difficult but their honesty and quiet resilience gives me faith.
- I encourage the efforts and complimenting the skills of fellow students in my taekwondo class.
- I made my daughters their favorite breakfast (popovers).
- I brought flowers to a friend who's bravely facing a big challenge.
- In stores and on the road I let someone go ahead of me, and wait patiently when delayed. ("You're not stuck in traffic; you are traffic.")
- I give to my kids by being present and enjoying them when we’re together. This is also giving to me: I’m well aware that they grow up quickly, and soon will spend less time with me.
Giving Teaches Receiving with Grace
The flip side of giving is receiving; something I've never done with grace. I felt that receiving was weak; a sign that I wasn't good enough to take care of my own needs. However, life has recently given me the opportunity to learn to receive.
Giving can put the giver in a position of power; of being a 'magnanimous benefactor.' In reflecting on my previous attitudes, I learned that I had sought out people of lower social or financial status than me, so that I could see myself as rich, wise, or more popular. Being the receiver—knowing or having less—has helped clarify my giving. I no longer give to empower myself or to build self-esteem; I give purely because it’s fun.
The flip side of giving is receiving; something I've never done with grace. I felt that receiving was weak; a sign that I wasn't good enough to take care of my own needs. However, life has recently given me the opportunity to learn to receive.
Giving can put the giver in a position of power; of being a 'magnanimous benefactor.' In reflecting on my previous attitudes, I learned that I had sought out people of lower social or financial status than me, so that I could see myself as rich, wise, or more popular. Being the receiver—knowing or having less—has helped clarify my giving. I no longer give to empower myself or to build self-esteem; I give purely because it’s fun.
Giving Teaches Trust
In the past I’ve struggled with generosity and abundance, especially around money, but have learned the value of giving what I feel that I can least afford to share. If it’s money, food or time, I give it up. Oddly enough, it seems that the more I give, the more I get. Maybe it's because the universe abhors a vacuum, or just that I'm recognizing the fluid nature of abundance.
Giving Rewards
My sense of abundance has grown by leaps and bounds. I pay less attention to what I lack, and am more conscious of what I have: people I love, wonderful health, beautiful weather, a lovely home, and a great life. With this attitude, every day I feel like I won the lottery, without even buying a ticket.
