I am not a teacher: only a fellow-traveller of whom you asked the way. I pointed ahead—ahead of myself as well as you. George Bernard Shaw
I have spent most of my adult life striving to learn, improve and grow. I have a funny dichotomous sense of being at the same time fully enlightened and an absolute beginner.
Sometimes I am proud of my wisdom. This often happens when I re-read past articles. Did I write that? It seems so wise. Sometimes I'm surprised by the incredibly immature egotism that lives within me; by mean, selfish reactions that make me wonder if I have learned anything.
I have to admit it: I like that I don’t see myself as complete or finished. Spiritual growth and self-awareness are lifelong pursuits; I would worry if I defined myself as fully enlightened. To me it would mean that I was ignoring or not seeing something. I also think that seeing oneself as fully enlightened can create a sort of spiritual egotism, which of course is the opposite of enlightenment.
But we don’t need to go to the other extreme and see ourselves as impure or hopeless. Some people approach growth with a heavy heart because it seems such a long journey—there’s so much to do. If you see yourself as bad, or are stuck in the past, reliving things you did that were less than loving, the odds of becoming a nice person may seem impossible. You may feel that there’s too much muck to wade through emotionally before you can get to the point of moving forward in a positive manner. You might fear beginning the journey—enlightened people are so good and if you see yourself as a bad or mean person, you may lack optimism. For some reason, we tell ourselves those people can do it, but I’m not destined to. It’s like watching Circ du Soleil—yes, those are humans, but I would never be able to do that. I’m too old/fat/rigid.
When I first started practicing taekwondo, I watched the master and black belts perform. While I admired their skill, I did not see myself as ever being part of that group. But now, although far from mastery, I've been practicing for three years and am on the road. I have begun my 10,000 hours. (A popular concept is that it takes about 10,000 hours to master any skill.) Another 63 years and I’ll be there!
Enlightenment is similar in that we need to watch the masters for inspiration and leadership, while focusing on our path.
For most people, teaching accelerates learning. We learn a subject deeply when we have to teach or explain it to others. One of my taekwondo instructors told me that teaching has allowed her to completely understand it, cementing all her years of training.
So if we teach enlightenment as we learn, we will incorporate it into our lives and souls deeper and faster than simply reading about it.
I know this, and have been motivated to share my learning about life, but I felt funny presenting myself as a Wise All-Knowing teacher. But what good is learning and understanding if I don’t share it? Sure, I don’t yell at my kids anymore or shout at random drivers, but shouldn’t I also spread peace and love to the world?
A chance to explore this arrived in the form of a high-energy friend. I had been growing increasingly frustrated with her, because she tends to hijack the conversation with whatever Big Drama is going on in her life. When she’s done complaining, she says, “Oh look at the time, gotta run," leaving me holding the metaphorical bag of her stress. Her visits were emotional hit and runs.
I considered ending the friendship, but decided not to; she has a lot of great traits and essentially means well. I believe that her dramas and emotional dumping are simply products of ignorance—that she doesn't know how much she can influence her own reality. She actually has a great life and is missing it by paying attention to the negative.
My wish is for her to realize how wonderful her life is. It occurred to me that I could serve by encouraging her to notice the positive aspects of her life, and to develop awareness of how much influence we have over the quality of our lives.
The story has a happy ending. Several years later, she is calmer and focuses on the many postitive aspects of her life. I can't take credit, but like to think that we grew and learned together.
My wish is for her to realize how wonderful her life is. It occurred to me that I could serve by encouraging her to notice the positive aspects of her life, and to develop awareness of how much influence we have over the quality of our lives.
The story has a happy ending. Several years later, she is calmer and focuses on the many postitive aspects of her life. I can't take credit, but like to think that we grew and learned together.
