A big part of happiness is controlling your own life. This includes taking responsibility for deciding your worth–in other words, deciding that your value is up to you and you alone; no one else gets a say. Sure, you can solicit and accept feedback. But your life is yours and yours alone; no one else decides what is right and wrong for you.
Reaching this point is very lovely, because you no longer care what others say about you. You know when you are in integrity, and when you err; you don’t need to be guided by public opinion.
You realise the futility of trying to control others, including their opinion of you. You no longer need external validation because it’s meaningless to you.
You neither need nor expect everyone to like you or go along with your message. You know that other people like other flavours, and that’s ok with you.
Coincidentally your urge to, and participation in, gossip will decline. You’re too busy concentrating on yourself to worry about others, and you know that your opinion of them is meaningless. You’re just too involved in your own life to talk about people who aren’t present.
We often try for this independence of thought by rebelling, often as teenagers, but go too far the other way, shocking people through costume or actions, still attuned to others' perception of us. True maturity comes when we just don’t react others. The truly mature simply go about their business unconcerned about others, except to interact lovingly and be of service.
