Photography as a Contemplative Practice

We’re all trying to figure out who we are, what we should do and be, and what kind of work to do. We take tests on Buzzfeed and Facebook, but here’s a perhaps more accurate way to describe who you are and understand what you want.

This method is effective—it will help you recognize your passions, interests, needs and values. This method is easy. In fact it’s something you probably already do every day.

And it’s simple—just take pictures of anything you like—people, places and things that you love or find beautiful, funny or visually engaging.

Don’t worry about technical stuff—just document that moment. The photos don’t have to be great, just recognizable enough to jog your memory.

While there’s nothing shameful or hidden about these photos, they’re private; not for sharing. They’re tools to help you see yourself; like a mirror, or diary.

Take photos of people, things and places that you like, then look at them occasionally.

• In chronological order, the photos will tell you where you’ve been, like the wake behind a boat.
• Ordered by location tells you about your happy places.
• Ordered by names of people tagged in your photos tells you about your tribe.

As you scan the imagery, you’ll see that certain subjects and colors catch your eye. You'll have visual feedback on how you like to spend your time, and of what interests you. The longer you continue this practice, the more you’ll see your life’s changes and progressions throughout the photos.

Warrior or Worrier? Setting boundaries with yourself

Once you master healthy boundaries in relationships, you can transfer the skills to yourself. When you know how to set boundaries with people—for example, not allowing a boss or partner to dump their stress on you—you can then choose to set boundaries with yourself. You can learn how to refuse the stress that’s coming from ‘inside the house.’
Learning how to not dump stress on yourself lets you release the harmful habit of worry, which typically does more harm than good. Worry it interrupts your sleep, elevates physical stress responses, and incites self-limiting thoughts that can severely limit your progress.

You don't need worry as a motivator. It's absolutely possible to work towards a goal without stress, panic, or negativity. You can move toward goals with peace, purpose and gratitude. Do what you can. After all, all you can do is all you can do. Some efforts will yield spectacular results and others won't. Worrying won't help.

Try creating boundaries around your stress levels. Given that you may not be able to control the details of your life, how much stress and negativity will you add?

Turning It Over

Just to be very clear, when I use the word god, I mean it as shorthand for a higher power; the life force that imbues everyone and everything. I align with no religious philosophies or groups.

TIOTG

My practice when facing bewildering or stuck situations is to write it all down—my problems, concerns or whatever's bothering me—on a piece of paper. I fold up the paper and put it in a box. Simple, easy, fast, and allows me to carry on with my day, knowing that I have activated higher powers.

I really like Michael Neill's description of a useful approach to life: think positively as if it made a difference, and work hard as if positive thinking had no effect. So I write things down, turn it over to god (positive thinking), and get on with my day (working hard).

I certainly didn't invent this idea, but can tell you it works. I haven't yet won a lottery, but at least it gets the monkey of distracted worry off my back long enough to be somewhat productive. Even if you don't believe in higher powers, this simple act helps expend the energy we waste worrying and thinking negative (useless) thoughts.

Try it: Write down anything you feel you can't control or influence; where you're feeling powerless, stuck or frustrated. Write on a smallish piece of paper. When you've written all that bothers you (some days require several pieces), fold up the paper and put it in a box. The box can be an old shoe box under the bed, or a lovingly decorated 'worry box.' Leave those worries in there for years—you'll be amazed when you reread them. Things have a funny way of working out. Whether it's due to subconscious brain activation or magical higher powers, it's really cool how many things do turn out well.

Listening to Your Body

I awoke yesterday with a sore shoulder. It got worse throughout the morning but a lunchtime yoga session and sporadic stretching helped. By bedtime my shoulder was fine—problem solved.

It was an easy win because I paid attention and made useful interventions. But it got me thinking about how our body speaks to us. 

Physical alerts—injuries, aches or illness—remind us to check in with ourselves. The sore shoulder encouraged me to look at my posture: how I walk, sit and stand, especially when working at desks and using mobile devices. My sore shoulder reminded me to sit mindfully, take micro breaks and stretch often.

Physical alerts also remind us to check in with Spirit. A sore shoulder invites us to look at what we’re "shouldering." What are we taking on? Do we like or resent our responsibilities? Do we need to adjust any responsibilities or expectations?

Whose Life is It Anyway?

For my birthday I decided I wanted a day of luxury: that my husband would drive me to fun activities, reappear when I was done, pay, and then take me on to the next fun activity, which he'd pay for as well. I was imagining living that way—how great that would be... like a princess. Then it hit me—this is my children's life. Why do I allow my life to be full or stress, worry and recriminations, and not treat myself as well as I do my children?

Living Your Own Life

If you are doing things because that’s the way it’s always been done, then you are living someone else’s life, not your own. How can anyone possibly know what is right for you?

Just because someone else wants you to do things a certain way doesn’t make it right for you. You need to develop the strength to do things your own way. To live life on your own terms. So what if they get upset? That’s their problem, not yours. If you are living in integrity with your highest self, you could not possibly do any different, and someone asking you to do so is not loving.

Imagine how peaceful the world would be if we all minded our own business.

Perfect yourself first before working on others. Sure, help out and even offer suggestions, but be ok when suggestion are rejected. Stick to perfecting yourself.

Even what I write here is not an attempt to convince you. It’s thoughts and ideas that occur to me, and that make my life richer and fuller. I hope you can use it, so I offer it to you as a gift. Keep it, pass it on, or totally ignore it; I don’t mind.

Spring Cleaning Preconceptions

3 Life-Changing Realizations

1. Last summer I took up running, something I'd never imagined enjoying, and discovered I like it.
2. I recently admitted I hate staying up late; one of my biggest luxuries is being in my fabulously comfortable bed by 10pm. 
3. One day, while swimming laps at the local pool, I realized mid-stroke, mid-lap, that I hated swimming laps. My whole life revolved around aquatics from age 12 to 25, but that day I knew–and admitted to myself–that I hated swimming laps.

All these life-improving realizations occurred as the result of spring-cleaning my assumptions. When I looked at them in the daylight of honesty and self-recognition, I realized some habits of thought and action were either erroneous or outdated.

It was a lot of work (and will need regular updates). I had to pull all the preconceptions out of my mental closet, examine and retest each one, and throw a whole lot away. Sometimes it seems that the more I get to know myself, the less I know myself. 

But this work is valuable. It's a way to refresh the mind, focus on what enriches life, and make space for new experiences.